“They lived in a cramped two-bedroom apartment above a cybercafe near the University of Toronto. Since No. 9 was out of town, I put my bags in his room and joined Mystery in the kitchen. Patricia had broken up with him, for good this time. And he’d been staying in his room a lot, playing a video game called Morrowind and downloading lesbian porn. Getting out of the house for these upcoming workshops would be good therapy for him.” – The Game – Neil Strauss
Around the age of 16-17 I fell directly into the demographic utterly primed and ready to read ‘The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists’. I was young, extremely online, nerdy, loved to research things and enjoyed video games, as such, a book which would explain and deconstruct the techniques of how to get women to me was of course an almost biblical event. For those of you who haven’t read it, or don’t really know what it’s about, well, it follows ‘Style’ (Neil Strauss) as he enters the work of ‘pickup’ (how to pickup women) and seemingly goes from beta to alpha, though arguably this isn’t the case. Anyway, it was actually an extremely important book for me. Hell, me and some of my friends followed this thing like it was practically biblical scripture for around a year. One friend even invited 26 women into a Facebook group chat and messaged them “Who fancies going on an adventure!?”. Damn, I remember one distinct time where I was being dragged around a bar with a duplicate card in my pocket so I could wing-man my friend with his pithy magic tricks. Yes I did pull, and so did he.
Opened my eyes to the fact others are viewing the work from entirely alien perceptions, made me realize how transparent things can be/become and ultimately made me find some authenticity within myself a little more. This was my first, very minor taste, of the ‘Red Pill’. “Wait, what’s the Red Pill?” Where you been, living under a rock?
“Because there’s truth in the red pill. Because men are realizing that the sexual marketplace has shifted away from what we’ve been taught. Men who grew up over thirty years ago are discovering the world has changed. Men who are still growing up- from the 80s, 90s, and even the last decade, they’re starting to realize that what their parents taught them, what television and chick flicks taught them, what church and sunday school taught them… it’s all wrong.” – (Here)
So I took a few years away from ‘game’ or ‘pickup’, I mean, I still ran a lot of the shit when I went out, I mean hell…it worked! And that was the problem, it was a real ‘kids with dynamite’ situation. Here I was a 18-20 something with not much life experience, who by chance stumbled across some text, which when applied fairly rigorously gives at least seemingly noticeable results. Was I banging hundreds of chicks? No. I didn’t go out that much, I was still a nerd. Was I way more successful with women than before? Hell yes. And much of it’s stuck, but in a good way now, but I’ll get to that. Anyway, yes, kids with dynamite. I’d get these girls, fuck around for a few weeks and then realize I was basically challenging myself to do all this, to prove to God knows who that I even could do it. So I ended up stuck in multiple situations in which I just could not emotionally handle the end result. I.e. I wasn’t really interested, not really. I just wanted to prove to myself I could, and I did and well…that was that.
So I took a couple more years out from ‘pickup’, I actually had a fairly long relationship during this period of my life. Wait. Long for me…7 months. But I didn’t really go to-and-fro nor put myself out there much. I was focused on drinking and more drinking at this juncture. Anyway, push came to shove with the drinking phase, boy, this must have been around 4 years ago now. I’ve occasionally crumbled and had a few weeks binge, but my interest in the sauce is gone. (That said, I’m still wary of it, I do have some sort of problem. Perhaps I’ll write about this at some point?) So I began to sort myself out. Note: This coincides with when I found the right-wing. And no, this is not a coincidence, there is correlation.
So I began on that oh so typical path of self-improvement, one which I’m still on as many of you know. But of course in the early stages this meant regaining confidence, strength, vigor, game etc. and so I was lead back to the sphere of pickup. But this time I began with the more fundamental texts, the hard-hitting Red Pill stuff, the bitter as hell stuff. The reading list was as follows:
No More Mr Nice Guy – Robert Glover. I actually still like this book, it’s important and I’ll cover why later.
Models – Mark Manson. Once again, I like this one too, if you want to read a good book on game, get this one.
The Rational Male – Rollo Tomassi. Here we go…
So, The Rational Male is a fairly dense, analytical and highly – you guessed it – rational book. On first read those men who feel they’ve been neglected, or treated unfairly by society with regard to women etc. find this book almost revelatory, a religious experience. Their eyes are opened and all that is true regarding the biological and socio-political structures which are from women controlling them, are revealed. I wont go into them here, their very long and very dry. Hypergamy is the main one. Which is the shorthand for stating that women select, or are constantly selecting the best possible mate with regard to social status.
“Hypergamy doesn’t care that you had a bad day.”
“Hypergamy doesn’t care that you enjoy eating food.”
“Hypergamy doesn’t care that you lost all your limbs.”
“Hypergamy doesn’t care that you’re a Shoggoth.” etc etc.
So it’s all this kind of thing, very analytical and very ‘proof’ or social proof heavy. Whatever, if that’s your deal, that’s your deal. I have little against any of these authors personally, but something really does irk me about this whole thing.
See, I first noticed it after one of the first clear Red Pill fragmentations. Where a load of Red Pill guys – at least this is my understanding of the situation – thought the whole thing was a little too female-centric and started a movement called ‘Men Going Their Own Way’ (MGTOW). What I noticed was that much like ‘post-modernism’ MGTOW was ‘always already’ tethered to that which it so despised, namely women. (Which I don’t despise by the way, I haven’t the time, nor patience for such bitterness. And if my old ‘pickup’ pals are reading this and wincing, cringing or weeping, good, fuck off and grow up.) So, basically MGTOW is trying to say that their going to focus their lives solely on a path away from women…hmm OK, so how does that look?
“Hey! Look at me doing X…without women.”
“Hey! I’m working out…in spite of women!”
“Hey! I made myself a great lunch…something to do with women.”
You can see where this is going. My point being, and this is the large, cantankerous point of this whole write-up is this. Red Pillers, if you’re so above all ‘this’, if you’re so woke, wise and unplugged, if you’re living the way you want and improving oh so much, why do you focus/return almost every facet of your entire back/with regard to women? You lift to impress women and improve your status. You read for the same reason. You work, climb, eat well, run, intellectualize and generally self-improve not for your self, but for some collective female self you’ve created. Just one more rep and finally you’ll be free of the great vaginal burden you have to carry!
See, Red Pillers note that the major problem of society at current is the ‘feminine imperative’:
“The Feminine Imperative is that when a woman follows her pussy, it should have good results for her, and if it does not have good results for her, it is the fault of some dastardly man and not an indication that women are too childish and irresponsible to be allowed to follow their pussies.
Whenever illicit female sexual desires lead to illicit acts which have bad consequences, those consequences are deemed to be the fault of men, and it is the duty of men to make female sexual desires come out with good consequences for the woman, even if it means bad consequences for the man. Man up and marry those sluts!” – blog.jim.com
So where am I going with this? Well, and I might put a lot of this down to my recent forays with Egoism, but largely I see all of these strange focuses, neuroses and emphases as personal oddities and delusions. That’s not to say I’m not sympathetic to an argument regarding the ‘feminine imperative’ no, once again, this wouldn’t be the point I’m trying to get at. My point would be that all this time and energy spent reading book after book and blog post after blog post on game, PUA, red pill etc. seems to be fuel to the fire which is burning your house of masculinity down.
“Why do women – supposedly – ruin everything?”
“Well, why do you keep reading shit about women ruining everything? Christ dude, get a fucking hobby.”
All this – somewhat truthful and helpful – human-centered gunk about frame and confidence etc. in my opinion dissolves once such notions are based upon your readings and acceptance of another’s work. ‘Man, I’m so fucking confident! Look how confident I am applying paragraph 3C of Pussy Slaya V3!’
This is precisely why the words ‘cosmic bemusement’ are in the title. And sure, you can say ‘Well Meta, you drag everything to your dumbarse pseudo-nihilistic cosmic level and it all erodes’ and I’d say ‘Sure does!’. But this isn’t about that.
I am cosmically bemused at the fact that those who inhabit the Red Pill way of life center their lives around the very thing they proclaim to hate. That such a group who are hyper-critical of X continue to gravitate every facet of their being, in some form, back to X. That such a group can seemingly conceive of no notion of life outside of X. I’m puzzled at their purpose, they wish to find meaning and yet they give it away at the first hurdle. ‘What would this mean to X?’, ‘How will this look for X?’ etc.
I see this as a larger form of societal, if not cosmic alienation (non-Marxian). It’s not men, nor women, nor people, not a collective which is trapped in some form, but is a general repression-of-the-spirit (non-Hegelian). Confidence is gone not through some strange socio-political, histo-cultural statistic, or enforcement or rule regarding only one factor of society no. There’s a multitude of factors culminating in the dampening and numbing of a general spirit. Yes, many modern men are afraid to approach women, but their also afraid to lift weight, work hard, eat cow heart, dance, act weird – and the same applies to women.
That’s sort of it, I haven’t much more to say on the Red Pill. It’s repetitive and I needed to get this out of my system.